Hard is Hard is Hard

I’ve been thinking about the word “hard,” lately.   I took a class last week that had me reflecting  about my attitudes and beliefs towards the world. From there, I started thinking about Debbie’s life and peoples’ perceptions of her.  I hear a lot of “Oh, that poor kid,” or “I’m sorry,” or “She has it so tough,” or my personal favorite, “I feel so sorry for her.” I know when people say these words they have the best intentions in their hearts.  However, as I learned last week, intentions are drastically different from impact. I don’t want to hear, “I’m sorry,” or “Oh, that poor kid.” I want to hear words of encouragement, words of support.  “Is there something I can do to help,” or “Debbie works so hard. I can see she does her best to persevere.” It is easy to get bogged down in “woe is me.” It is easy to get caught up in the circle of feeling helpless or sorry.  When people pity Debbie they are limiting her instead of encouraging her. Debbie works through struggles every single day. But then, Joey works through struggles, just as Vince does, just as I do, and just as you do.  We all have struggles. We all have something in our life that is hard.  Your hard is not my hard.  My hard is not Debbie’s hard.  Debbie’s hard is not your hard or my hard. Everyone has hard, and no one person’s hard is more difficult than the next one’s.  Hard is hard is hard. So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone is telling you about their struggles, rather than saying, “I’m sorry,” ask that person, “How can I help?  What can I do?”

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